Can I Be Your Memory

You know what’s funny about the next week? I am going to be spending it with all of the Shadecloth kids non-stop. As much as I love them I know it’s either gonna make me or break me. Spending so much time with certain people for the first time usually does that though. They see a different side of you and you see a different side of them. Unless it’s someone you’ve known forever and can’t be surprised if they do anything you wouldn’t expect them to. I know that I get impatient on holidays, and it’s usually only my family that sees that. Ahahaha, and I get forgetful… Which has just started happening already today. (Excuse me while I go do something I shouldn’t ever forget to do…)

Should be fun. I’ve been reminiscing about past holidays I’ve been on with friends and past holidays I’ve had at Port Elliot. Eh, packing is so hard without mum making me a list. :/

And all these themes are killing me! Oh well, SCHOOLIES SCHOOLIES SCHOOLIES FUCK YES!

Over and out.

There Is Always Another Day

God damns the ones who damn their brothers
On the other side, on the other side
I tried my best to find truth
I keep for treason, what a good reason
The falsehood of centre state
That God was just a tyrant with a temper
Well I thought I had found truth
But it was something completely different

Now we’re swimming in a pool of our own innocence
How did we get so filthy?
And now its sinking in
We’re swimming and getting nowhere fast
How did we get so filthy?

God damns the ones who damn their lovers
On the other side, on the other side
My last chance to find truth
I keep for treason, what a good reason
The falsehood of centre state
That God is just a bastard with a temper
Well I thought I had found truth
But it was something completely different

And now we’re swimming in a pool of our own innocence
How did we get so filthy?
And now its sinking in
We’re swimming and getting nowhere fast
How did we get so filthy?

Now we’re swimming in a pool of our own filthiness
How can I get this to be innocence again?
Innocence again…
Now I’m a liar and I’m sorry
I’m so sorry
And how can I get to be broken?

God damns the ones who damn their brothers
On the other side, on the other side

Step Out Of The Dark And Into Your Life

This weekend my uncle told me that he was amazed I have such, in his opinion, low goals for myself. Career wise and other wise. I went into my high school because of the Ignite program, I was smart and fresh faced. Year 8 was hard, I’m not going to go into it, but by the end of year nine I had started to scare my uncle – in his words, I was going ‘goth’. Yuck, I thought to myself when he said this. Goth? Me, really? Yuck. No way. And then I realised from his point of view, for his age group and not knowing how things are etc., yeah, sure it would have looked like I was going ‘goth’. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Never will I go back to those ways again.

Anyway! He also said that I am smart, I was back then and I am now. He does not think the path that I have chosen for myself is the right one for me. He could be right. At this point I’m not enthusiastic about much. I just sigh when I think about knowing what I want to do. I know I want to create, I know how I am good at creating things and I know that I am good at managing things… well, other people and time… just not myself. I also get complimented on massages I give, yep, that makes me good with my hands. Ahaha, oh. Me and my dirty mind, sorry kids.~

I’ll bet you that I can’t work under anyone. Even more so if my boss is an idiot. Ever. Fuck. Why don’t I know this yet?

Why don’t I know how I’m gonna live my life? How I wanna live my life? What it’s going to take for me to wake up and smile because I know I am where I want to be, and with who I want to be with.

Probably never. I’ll never know. But I want to commit to something.

Over and out.

 

P.S. There is a reason behind me posting a picture of Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, and this is because I just posted a grand question on Facebook. Which one is better looking? …So far Ashley is in the lead. This is good.

I Just Wrote Love On My Arm

Show your support, write it on yours too.

To find out more visit this website.

Over and out.

Carpe Diem

It’s Remembrance Day today, one of many where us as Australians are supposed to pause at 11am to remember those that died. They died for all of us to be able to have better lives, so I think it’s a perfect day to suck it up and completely overhaul my life! As funny as this is, it was my mother that told me I have to. I think she’s realised she’s been on the outside of my life for a while and sees my acting out as me not having enough self love or something. I dunno! She’s weird, okay? Eh, so, she want’s me to be more motivated, to see more of a mix of my friends instead of the same ones over and over (because she’s lost old friends because she’s slack and stuff, and she’s seen dad lose friends because he spends time with like 2, all the time… he has no friends from high school left and stuff) and to get down to a size 12. First things first though, I have to de-clutter my room. I do keep too much crap and I really need to get rid of the stuff I won’t ever need again. One of my Uncle’s is coming over tonight to do boxing and my brother, sister, her friend and I are going to be sparring like crazy – oh dear. In this heat I will probably want to stop during the first like 20 minutes, but eh, it should be good! And it’ll just prove how unfit I am.

I’m out! Time to fix the room and then go for my (fucking 4km) run. That woman is a ball cutter. Haha, oh well.

11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month. Lest we forget~

Over and out.

To Give Them What They Want

You know I’m not gonna dis you on the internet,
because my momma taught me better than that…

But I so badly want to. Art exam tomorrow. Then I’m free! I’ve already made a list of things I want to do and want to get out of my life once I’m free. I want to get rid of heaps of childhood crap I’ve kept. I want to get rid of my ass. I want to find something better to look forward to than my crappy small-town dreams. I’m going to learn how to play the guitar and start playing the piano again.

I’ve made a calendar for the next 2 months. I’m busy busy busy, team that with a job and I may as well just go hide in a hole again. On Wednesday I’m catching up with my lovely girl Kathleen, then Thursday is bros day, Thursday night I’ma be chilling with Yondette!! She’s coming home everybody! Back in Adelaide on Wednesday!! Then Friday we’ll be kickin’ it. Friday night will be the party to end all exam parties, god bless Alfred for throwing it. On Saturday I’m heading up to Mt Gambier and then back on Sunday, Monday is a night out with all my school friends at a restaurant – Charlie’s. And it keeps going on and on and on. Arrgh. So scared of not being able to really chill, but schoolies will be brilliant. So much to organise though!

Never mind. Art exam in less than 24 hours. Wish me luck~

Over and out.

I’d Like To Think The Best Of Me Is Still Hiding Up My Sleeve

After knowing I needed to start doing something before it got to this point in my life, finally, I’ve started to get things rolling. Responsibility is important when you start becoming an adult, when you start realising all the seriousness behind the things you used to joke about as a kid.  Aha, I must sound like a massive walking contradiction right about now, but that’s how I deal with things. It’s kind of exciting, realising that there are certain things you need to do to take care of yourself – and doing them, without caring if people understand why you’re doing the things you’re doing… Anyway, I’m rambling! At this point there is no need for specifics, so I’m just gonna flow with this weirdness and say, for now -

Over and out!

The Only Verdict Is Vengeance

So, I’m multi-tasking. Watching V For Vendetta whilst writing this. I’m over and done with the two exams that I was worried the most about. It’s about time too. Today, after my maths exam I went to town for my usual bros day. Caught up with the lovely Fi and Rhys, as well as my usual lovelies Jacob and John. On Saturday my tutor Maria and I discovered the most amazing wing in the State Library. The Mortlock Wing, and today I showed Jacob and John our discovery. As the first time I went in there was to work, all I got to take in was the amazing smell of the old books and the breathtaking view as you walk in, it was amazing to just look at the exhibition on the ground floor. Some of the history of South Australia is amazing. I learnt that a law was passed on the 17th of September in 1975 for gay men to be able to be with each other in the privacy of their own home. Yes, before that it was illegal to be gay even in the privacy of your own home! Law’s having to be passed? I am disappoint, I believe people should be able to do whatever they want. After shopping for games we then proceeded to the Botanic Gardens, to change things up a bit – and the boys got me acquainted with the Flight of the Concords album. I laughed my head off, some of their lyrics are awesome.

Tonight I got a lovely email from webs.com telling me that my website is in the top 1% of most popular blogs that have been created this week! It made me laugh, because… how many blogs that have been made this week could have taken off so much so to be deemed popular in the first place? Eh, I dunno! I really like the ’spy’ application it has on the stats page. You can see the country of the viewer who is on your site, and their OS and what type of browser they’re using! It’s kind of odd, seeing all the different countries so far, but most of those worldly visitors are linked to it from here – so if you’re reading and have seen the website, hello!

Art exam on Tuesday, wish me luck.~

Over and out.

The Best Things In Life Are Free

True fact. So, yesterday instead of studying for exams, and after killing all of my old ‘Piczo’ web pages, I finally got to setting up a website for my animation to be embedded onto. I originally wanted to upload it to YouTube, and I did that. But the frame rate and file size wasn’t all that great looking. It may have been a big waste of time, but unfortunately enough for me, my Animation teacher emailed me at 7 last night (I don’t know how I didn’t get it until this morning, gah) asking me for another copy of the final piece because it couldn’t be found on the disc I handed up. Holy shit. I died when I read it. Everything, and I mean everything, was depending on that last piece of work because all my lead up work is pretty dodgy. So, as I couldn’t make it to school today, I sent him a couple of links to where he could find it on the net for quick viewing, and said I’d bring it in on USB tomorrow. It was the worst start to the day ever. But I’ll get by.

Also, please notice that an artist from Canada stole my name, and even though her work is amazing, it saddens me a little bit to know that I’ll never ever be the owner of the domain ‘jessicamasters.com’, eventually I’d love to buy up ‘jessicajoanmasters.com’. That would be awesome, even though ‘jessicamasters.com.au’ is still avaliable, it just hasn’t got the same level of awesome as a ‘.com’ page.

I have my Physics exam tomorrow morning, my Maths one on Thursday morning and finally my Art one on the Tuesday after that.

Wish me luck guys, I’m going to need it.

Over and out.

To Be Successful In Life Is To Be Happy

Look at how gorgeous that room is.

Also, the only song I want to listen to at the moment is Gold Digger by Kanye West. So I guess this post goes out to the stupid whores of the world that use men, even if they barely know them, because they’re desperate to fit in or have a title or whatever, that they’re obviously not. This post also goes out to the people that steal the most important things out of someone’s life, be that friends or image, and to people that ditch then stop caring about their friends, all because of what? No valid reasons at all, apparently. Why would you upgrade to people who are stupid and have the personality of a cardboard box? Have fun with that.

Over and out.