Lay Your Cares On The Radio

Last night I had a ‘normal’ dream. I’m writing it down now because it was a good one and I want to remember it.I don’t know how it was the way it was because usually, in my dreams, something is way out of order. But no, it was in one place, I used doors to get to other rooms, there were dogs, and there were old friends. It was the first time I’ve had a whole dream set in one place revolving around one person, and it was the first time I was in Europe (yeah, okay, so that may not make sense) in one of my dreams. It was nice, there were two dogs, someone was cooking and the ’smell’ was amazing. It was also winter (ha! Something that actually coincides with reality! Another +1) but it wasn’t snowing yet, just really cold and really wet. Also, there were a lot of really kitch home wares around the place, and everybody was wearing really kitch clothes (think lookbook, but for all ages. ). Me and my friend pretended to be gymnasts on balance beams, but on a wooden deck, and then she started pretending to be a squid (old normal behaviour, or maybe that was my old normal behaviour, don’t worry). Yeah, that was about it.

There could have been a lot of reasons why this happened. Maybe it was the heavily perfumed room, which helped with me going to bed feeling as calm as ever. Or maybe it was because I’m at peace with a lot of different goings-on at the moment. Whatever it is I feel like I have a lot of love in my heart right now. And the smell of my conditioner is actually so good it makes me smile.

Lets See How Far We’ve Come?

Funny… Just before I realised in one week it will be exactly one year since Mexican Night.

Over and out.

All The Poets Come To Life

Fingertips have memories,
but can’t forget the curves of your body

This isn’t what I really wanted to use this post for, but I think I have to get it out.

I have found myself invited to a friend’s gathering that I am extremely excited to attend. But… this would be all good if their friends circles weren’t as … broad and kinda the same as mine. There is a certain person, I have found out to be possibly going, that I have very serious problems with. The details are upsetting, and I don’t ever talk about it. But how does someone deal with that? How do you knowingly enter  into somewhere where you know that if you see that person you’re going to be able to either get so angry you want to hurt them, or get so upset you feel like you’re going to have a break-down in front of everybody else? Add the possibility of drinking to the mix, how do you stop yourself from making a scene when there is no way everybody else should ever know what’s really gone on? The funny thing is I’ve only actually hung out with this person once. Not enough time spent with them to have any effect on me at all, right? Wrong. The internet, sometimes, can be a very horrible place.

Over and out.

Rule Number One

Never, no matter what, tell your parents you prefer to not talk to them about what’s going on in your life.

Trust Me, I’m A Cautionary Tale

Sometimes we tell the truth because
we need to say it out loud to hear it for ourselves.

Glee gives me chills. I spent some of today catching up with the episodes Kathleen and I missed. The performances of Lean On Me and Imagine were perfect. I want to start performing again. I really really miss it. John has also inspired me to start playing the piano again. It’s been 2 years since I stopped doing lessons, and I can still read music really well.

I cooked something sweet for the first time in a long time last night.Was fun, and sticky, and too sweet. Sweet enough to be sickening. It was a caramel sauce, for dessert. Dad made omelette, and I was originally going to use the left over egg to make French Toast Fingers but there was no more egg!

Ooooh, it was raining a whole lot yesterday and most of the lightning strikes were very close to the house. One was so close I felt my heart almost jump out of my chest. It’s odd, how something like that can scare the hell out of you. I haven’t felt scared like that since I was a child.

Tonight is my cousins Baseball Fund-raiser Dinner. I will get to see some old friends that I lost contact with when Josh stopped playing.

Ha, well, that’s all folks. I rambled on about things from the past that I missed. I’m sure there was something else I wanted to write, but this post took me about 2 hours to do from start to finish and I’ve forgotten what it was. Hope you had fun reading…

Over and out.

Heavy Cross by Gossip

I’ve always loved this song, but until today I had no idea who it was by! Gossip is awesome.

Parlez Vous Français?

Schoolies! Schoolies, schoolies, schoolies. It was fun. So many laughs were had and so much credit was wasted on phonecalls that went a little bit like: “Where are you? ___ is gone somewhere and I think ___ is in the main tent! I just left ___ but I can’t find any of our group! It’s almost 1.30! When’s the taxi coming?” etc.

Even with all the crap that happened I still had a fair amazing time. It was an experience I think every school leaver should have and then remember for the rest of their life. I was extremely tame while I was up there, but some friends were just on missions to get hook-up after hook-up. I must admit, dirty dancing with hot, sweaty, drunk boys was so much fun. On Wednesday, Tina and I went on a massive food and clothes get. We went from Glen Osmond Rd to China Town to Croydon to The Parklands. It was fun, and intense. She leads a busy life, that girl, and I was happy to tag along for most of it. When we got back to mine, there was a massive problem on our hands that stressed both of us out, and along with dealing with someone else’s constant ‘What the fuck am I packing???‘ etc. was kinda crappy as we had both finished packing on Tuesday and just really wanted to chill out. Thursday came, and it was a slow morning filled with anticipation for the bus ride up to Victor. On the bus we got told off for being too loud, ha. It was brilliant. And hot, the aircon was crap. Got to Victor to find Charli, Jim, Mitch, Tim and Angus waiting for us. Two car trips later we arrived at Ferret Farm.

Thursday night and Friday passed without a fuss. On Friday night the real fun began… and yes, waiting 45 minutes for a wristband is what I consider real fun. Skipping ahead a couple more hours the raving and acting like complete teenagers began. Friday night was good, I spent a lot of time running around with Taison and then Karlien.

The pain I caused, it makes me laugh

Burn the evidence of my existence,
Clear the ashes on the ground
Burn the evidence of all these things,
That pull my spirit down

So, I had this great idea. Start again. Start this thing again. But now I don’t know what to write about without sounding like an over-emotional freak that has no idea what is going on any more. It’s just like, my world was condensed into three worlds. All separate from each other, and for damn good reason. Even with how open I was about everything, I couldn’t let things get mixed up. It was to protect myself. Except I don’t know what it was I was protecting myself from in the first place any more.

Yeah, wow. That makes so little sense, to all but a few.

I give up, for tonight anyway. I think, in my next post I’ll finally recap my ‘Schoolies’ experience.

Over and out.

She Sings The Revolution

I’ve decided to keep everything here running exactly the same. I don’t really know how to change it in any way to make the writing in general better, but still keep it as my place. I am going to start again though, by keeping the last 200 or so posts private or put back in my drafts pile. I am also going to stop vaguely addressing things that, even I know, are not “fit to print”. I have only done so in the past because as much as I have wanted to get things out in the open, I couldn’t tell people I know out of fear of being shot, and I wasn’t afraid of strangers knowing because they honestly wouldn’t care less about how much of a disaster I created for myself this year. Dancing around topics also brings out the worst in people, because they so often don’t understand the reference.

So, those are kinda my vague reasons for clearing everything out. My past is in my past. The drama has been left at school, along with many other things. And I’m not sure I want to subject anyone I meet in the future to reading about shit all, even if they’re curious.

So yeah, there’s only one more thing left to do…

And that is be exactly who I am, do everything I want to do and just keep on truckin’.

Over and out.

Renovation Time

Like lots of things I’ve kept over the years I felt like I needed to cull every post off this blog. It’s time to clean up and clean out. So until I decide how things are gonna work from now on this might just be the only post for a while.

Over and out.