We’re Flat Broke, But Hey We Do It In Style

I’ve got my things, I’m good to go
You met me at the terminal
Just one more plane ride and it’s done

We stood like statues at the gate
Vacation’s come and gone too late
There’s so much sun where I’m from
I had to give it away, had to give you away

And we spent four days on an
Island at your family’s old hotel
Sometimes perfection can be
It can be perfect hell, perfect…

Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn’t mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don’t fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised

I lace my Chucks, I walk the aisle
I take my pills, the babies cry
All I hear is what’s playing through
The in-flight radio
Now every word of every song
I ever heard that made me wanna stay
Is what’s playing through
The in-flight radio, and I
And I am, finally waking up

Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn’t mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
Don’t fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, yeah

So read your books, but stay out late
Some nights, some nights, and don’t think
That you can’t stop by the bar
You haven’t shown your face here since the bad news
Well I’m here till close, with fingers crossed
Each night cause your place isn’t far

And hours pass, and hours pass, yeah, yeah…

Yeah, yeah, she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn’t mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised
And don’t fly fast. Oh, pilot can you help me?
Can you make this last? This plane is all I got
So keep it steady, now
Cause every inch you see is bruised, bruised, bruised

I can’t shake this feeling that everything I do and everything I’ve ever done has hurt somebody or will hurt somebody.

I wish it didn’t.

Over and out.

My New Header

It’s procrastination at its finest. This is why I love my drawing tablet. So capable.

I can’t wait for next year. It’ll be all art, all the time.

Dad is still iffy about getting me a MacBook Pro. I’ll survive without it. I mean, I love Dean so much! He’s the best laptop ever. But then again. So small, so white. It’d be a good, as my Animation teacher puts it, learning curve.

I think I’m going to pull an almost all-nighter. Do more art. Glue stuff. Smash stuff. Draw stuff!

Should be fun!

Over and out.

Can’t Forget We Only Get What We Give, Don’t Let Go

Some like watching people living on TV, that’s a little strange if you’re asking me,
Cause I like to eat and laugh and fuck and play,
Down low these are the things I know, well hello hello…

I’ve had an OutKast song stuck in my head for the past 2 days. It’s a good song, yes. But c’mon! Can’t my head just be full of nothing for once?

I feel like today is going to be a-ok. I have pretty much the worst cold ever, but the weather is perfect, and there is a jet going across the sky and I can see the path in the sky which always makes me smile… Simple pleasures for simple minds. I hope this feeling will last! Someone asked me if I had BPD yesterday. I don’t feel like that, I have my highs and my lows and my really fucking angries all the time, yes. But I’m not mental. I may be crazy, but I’m not mental. :/

Aha, last night my mother had a go at me for telling my brother that he and his girlfriend couldn’t come back here cause I was sleeping. She told me to move out as soon as I turn 18. So much for trying to cover my ass. Never have a gathering when your parents and siblings go out, things don’t turn out the way they plan. Haha, I had a good time anyway. I could have sworn the neighbours were all peering through their windows every time I went to say bye to someone. I don’t care if any one of them dobs me in. It’d be hilarious.

Shine the light on the truth folks, you know you want to.

Over and out.

P.S. Today my goal is to learn these lyrics and to be able to sing along at the same time with the song:

Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’
Watchin’ X-Files with no lights on
We’re dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man’s in this one
Like Harrison Ford I’m getting frantic
Like Sting I’m tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy

Like Kurasawa I make mad films
Okay, I don’t make films
But if I did they’d have a Samurai
Gonna get a set a’ better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my irons aren’t always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
‘Cause the cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing

P.P.S/P.S.S. Oh how I wish I was as beautiful as Drew Barrymore in Ever After.

Smiles For The Innocent, Lies For The Rest

Baby, I’d leave you for the person you used to be.

Thinking is overrated. Don’t think about the consequences of your actions. It just messes things up even more than they already are. If you were so worried about how things were going to turn out why’d you go ahead and do whatever you did in the first place? Why’d you do it if you were just going to have to lie to people about it? You knew from the start that if you did anything people were gonna talk shit. Was it really worth it? Was everything you did really worth risking losing the respect of all your friends?

Teenagers are stupid. They do stupid things. We all know that. Get the fuck over it and stop feeling sorry for yourself. I’m sick of you coming to me about it all the fucking time.

You want people to stop talking about then stop bringing it up in the first place, idiot. If you stop talking about it, or better yet – stop doing it, people will soon forget. I do something stupid and foolish every other day. It’s worth it. I don’t talk about. People don’t know and people don’t care. Like I said, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Some people are so much more worse off.

Over and out.

Something Around The Place

High school can tear us apart; hurts us; destroy us even. However, there’s one thing I’ve learned so far, and it wasn’t in Math or English. It was that except for my best friends, I don’t need anything else. Because without them, I would be lost. No matter how many broken hearts or messed up fights; no matter how messed up my family is, what my grades are or how many stupid decisions I make, they were there and that’s what really counts. That is probably the single most important thing I’ve learned and it’s because they changed my life.

I am insanely scared of everything coming to an end. This place is my home. It’s where my people are, have been or will be next year and I can’t stay. I have to move on and it’s killing me. It’s home. How do you leave somewhere so special and not look back? I’m looking back, I’ve remembered so many amazing things about the past five years and it’s fucking killing me to have to say goodbye. I’ve said one too many fucking goodbyes this year. I can’t handle any more. I think I’m just going to go curl up in a ball and continue bawling my eyes out. I haven’t been able to do homework because all I wanted to do was look at photos. Remember everything. I actually haven’t cried so much for about half a year. I’m so frightened. I really am. I’m so scared of feeling worthless again. Having nothing. Having no one. And it’s not that I know I won’t, I know they’ll be there. But, its the fact that. You know what, never mind. The impact these last 5 years has been able to break me, make me, break me and then again now, slowly make me again. Without Glenunga. Fuck. Imagine that. I don’t want to. As much as I dislike the place, I don’t think I’d be 90% of who I am without it.

I love all my friends so much, and I hope they know that.

Over and out.

You Are An Undiscovered Gem

Never say goodbye because saying goodbye means going away
and going away means forgetting.

I found a scar tonight. It’s on my eyelid. I have seen it before, but never noticed it properly… I like it. It’s different.

I started watching TV again. Getaway. Oh my gosh, amazing. I want to go on a road trip. It would be awesome. And I want to go to Fiji. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Exams are looming! SCT is slowly getting done!

Over and out.

“Getting Lucky” For Her Ain’t Luck, It’s Just Naming A Price

She’s got a lot of issues,
Like any good magazine.

Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, SCORE! Go fuck yourself if you can’t talk to me like a normal person. Like  a normal person should be treated. Why did I have to start looking at LookBook again after all this time? It and Tumblr have sucked me in big time. All I want to do is write write write … then look at hipsters posing in their mix of op shop/H&M bought outfits. To be quite honest I’m glad we only have Myer. Frequenting more shops than Review or Dangerfield would be too time consuming. As much as I love shopping… I don’t like shopping for myself. I never have any money, and I don’t have the right frame (fat fat fat) for any of the clothes I would pay a super amount of money on. Some people thought I was crazy spending $600 on my formal dress. In someways they have a right to think that, but stfu, it was my night, I wanted to have it as close to perfect as possible. And it was, I got every single fucking thing I wanted out of that night. Even with stupid hatin’ ho’s trying to ruin my night.

I’ve almost finished my major assignments. They’re coming along nicely, and obviously I haven’t been kicked out… as yet… So I’ma roll with it.

Anyway, I found something on Tumblr today and it made me laugh…

Hipsters: In reality, there’s nothing in those messenger bags they carry. They just like wearing them.

Over and out.

Baby I Can See Your Halo, Don’t You Know It’s My Saving Grace

Wow, I sure as heck posted lots over the holidays. Well, I had a massive fight with the ‘rents on Saturday and last night which resulted in them ‘kicking me out’. So far that means all of us acting extremely polite to each other, in that horrid pissed off way, and acting like it never happened. Odd, huh. It has me freaked out and wanting to leave as soon as I can. But where to go? I’ve never moved  and cannot see me moving any time soon. Its like one of those life steps I’m so not ready for, like getting a full-time job or having a baby. Woah, scary.

Eh, I’m just gonna roll with it for now. Sure, I have the most amazing friends who have already offered me their couches, but what’s the point of doing what they are waiting to make sure I don’t do anyway? Aha, that didn’t make sense.

I’m in a good mood, don’t wanna ruin it because of my stupid ass parents.

Over and out.

I’m The Cheapest Thrill You’ll Ever Manage To Get Your Dirty Hands On

Kat Dennings is amazing. Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist is one of my favourite movies of all time, and because of her in Raise Your Voice that is up there too. Something else I adore is the show Glee. I just watched episode 5 and they sung a song by Queen. It sent shivers down my spine.

Queen – Somebody To Love

Each morning I get up I die a little
Can barely stand on my feet
(Take a look at yourself) Take a look in the mirror and cry
Lord what you’re doing to me
I have to spend all my years in believing you
But I just can’t get no relief Lord
Somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

I work hard (he works hard) everyday of my life
I work till I ache my bones
At the end (at the end of the day)
I take home my hard earned pay all on my own
I get down (down) on my knees (knees)
And I start to pray (praise the Lord)
‘Til the tears run down from my eyes
Lord somebody (somebody) ooh somebody (please)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?

(He wants help)
Every day – I try and I try and I try -
But everybody wants to put me down
They say I’m goin’ crazy
They say I got a lot of water in my brain
Got no common sense
I got nobody left to believe
Yeah – yeah yeah yeah

Ooh
Somebody (somebody)
Can anybody find me somebody to love?
(Anybody find me someone to love)

Got no feel I got no rhythm
I just keep losing my beat (you just keep losing and losing)
I’m OK I’m alright (he’s alright)
I ain’t gonna face no defeat
I just gotta get out of this prison cell
One day I’m gonna be free Lord

Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love find me somebody to love
Somebody somebody somebody somebody somebody
Find me somebody find me somebody to love
Can anybody find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me somebody to love
Find me find me find me
Find me somebody to love
Somebody to love
Find me somebody to love

Over and out.

Bring On Summer

Whenever I walk down Rundle Street I collect every free postcard I catch a glimps of (even at 12.30am while there are drunks stalking their prey). So, I’d expect all of you to know about Postsecret by now. I came up with an idea. Whenever I collect a post card I’ll get whoever is with me to write on it. Write anything they want. And without looking at it I’ll put it in a small photo album and save it for a rainy day. Only one postcard per rainy day though.

I really like masks and I am slowly slowly becoming obsessed with antique decor. My room reeks of it. Not literally, but y’know. It’s beautiful. I just wish I had more stuff. I don’t need more stuff. I guess I just wish I had better stuff. Replace all my magazines with paperbacks. More shelving, a bigger wardrobe. Less… IKEA. A bigger bed. It could go on and on. It doesn’t matter. I want to move out as soon as I can.

Uncle Chris is in town. Heaps excited. Oh ffs. I have to call Uncle Tony and tell him I’m not going to Melb this weekend. I’ll do it tomorrow.

Over and out.