Alcohol And Abhorrence

I’m not really sure why I’m putting this here. Maybe cause I don’t update this thing enough for people to actually give a shit about what I’m writing any more. I’ve been listening to music all day. It’s been really refreshing because I haven’t spent a day like this in a long time.

I’m not happy with my weekend. What happened. What should of happened and didn’t. The disappointment.

On Friday I almost became the one thing I never wanted to become. It’s quiet a horrible thought. It was a great night. Up until the last … 30 minutes. I have no idea what made me do the things I did. I guess I felt frustrated. I’m 18 years old and all I really want is to find a lovely boy, and spend days at a time just falling in love. I cringed at that last word. It sounds so fucking lame. I am not the kind of girl who needs someone else. I’m social. I have a whole bunch of friends that keep me busy. I love them all. And I wish I saw them all more.

I don’t know what I’m trying to write.

Maybe I should make a wish. I already made one at 11:11, but it didn’t come true.

I wish that someone will sweep me off my feet sometime soon.

…Maybe if I play my cards right.

Oh boy, my mind sure went off into distant places in this post.